Where do I begin? 4:10am and I wish I just didn’t know what was going on. 4:11am and I’m blasting my music. Thank God my room is in the corner of the house. Music really does soothe the soul doesn’t it? Arteries and veins filled with fire right now. Nerves, uneasy. It’s been a while since I’ve felt like this. 4:12am My mom just came in the room to tell me to turn down my music. OK. Maybe my room isn’t invincible. “Knocked down round for round. You’re feeling like you’re shot down on the ground. When will the fantasy end, When will the heaven begin.”
The comforting texts of a friend fill my inbox. Texts that keep me sane. Texts that help me feel as if, “OK. Maybe I’m not feeling stupid for getting angry.” Texts from one great friend and texts from another that I met through my ukulele skills 
Why? Why do I feel this way? Is it because I care too much for you? Is it because the jealous side of me is coming out? Is it because I don’t trust you? Or maybe it’s because I love you too much to let this one slide. Maybe it’s the fact that I offered to help and yet, I wasn’t a resort at all.
I’m off on an adventure
